


The Night She Died

by cherrycolanight



Series: Angst One Shots [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Angst, Bad Ending, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, Crying, Dead Aradia Megido, Everyone Needs A Hug, F/M, Heavy Angst, Mind Control, POV Sollux Captor, Past Mind Control, Sad Ending, Telekinesis, Trolls (Homestuck)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-11
Updated: 2020-07-11
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:01:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25208140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cherrycolanight/pseuds/cherrycolanight
Summary: Hi everyone! It's been a long while hasn't it! Don't worry, I'll have more kink related fics on the way I just felt like making an angsty one for a change. I really hope you enjoy and I'm so sorry in advance.This one shot is set in the past on the day that Sollux is forced to kill Aradia. I imagined this to be what would happen if he woke up afterwards and realised what happened."Now there was nothing left but the lonely Gemini boy who pitifully cried, holding onto the dead Aries girl’s body.Aradia, the girl who defied all quadrants was gone."
Relationships: Sollux Captor/Aradia Megido
Series: Angst One Shots [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1826218
Kudos: 3





	The Night She Died

When she took control of my body at first I didn’t know what was happening. It happened so suddenly that I couldn’t even fight back like I believed I could have. One second I was laying in my hive contemplating what type of honey I was going to have on my cereal which definitely was NOT going to be mind honey and the next second I was being manipulated. 

The one thing I remembered the most distinctly was the pain I was in. After Vriska had forced me to eat the mind honey it was like each one of the cells in my body had exploded in unison. They were screaming at me- it just felt so wrong. I didn’t want to do it. I didn’t want to do damage to my hive, my precious tech and god, my lucus. But mostly, nothing could have impacted me more than the shit I did to her.

I promised to myself I would never hurt her. She was the only person in my life who truly cared about me; I could see a future with her. I future where we wouldn’t have to play this stupid game, where there would be no more crying, no more anger. Nothing else in the whole world would matter to us except each other. I just had to go and ruin it for the both of us. Now everything is broken and I can’t find a way in my numb think-pan to fix it. Sometimes I sit on the edge of the meteor and scream into the void, cursing the sky: why did it have to be the both of us who suffered? Why not just me? Why did I have to hurt her too?

I mostly try to shove the memories of that day out of my think-pan. But every so often, in the comfort of my Recuperacoon they come rushing in and crush my defences like a raging sea. In the dark they taunt me with images of her lifeless body in my claws and her gaze resting upon me when the last of her breath left her weak lungs. I know what their laughter means. I know the cruel undertones that lace their chuckles in the night. It’s your fault Sollux. You did this to her. You’re a fucking monster. 

The shattering of the windows was deafening. Debris decorated the sky and the two trolls, one an unsuspecting girl and the other a manipulated boy, were engulfed in a plethora of dust and broken glass. Through the mess, you could slightly see the dimming of the red and blue electricity to show that the boy was coming back down to earth. This however- would prove very painful for him. 

The descent from where Sollux was floating was less than graceful, his limp body crashing into the disturbed ground and luckily landing on something softer. His brain was filled with static as he lay there for a while, twitching his fingers and flexing his toes to slowly gain back control of his body. Eventually his own thoughts seeped back through and the fog cleared. He hesitantly craned his neck towards his chest to access the potential damage and when he saw there was only a few scrapes and bruises, Sollux shuffled himself to sit up. Fuck. His head hurt pretty bad, he must’ve hit it on the way down. While he gently massaged his temples and looked around, Sollux failed to acknowledge the limp figure laying near the corner of the room. That was until she started trying to scramble away from the tower of debris dangerously close to falling onto her. 

Sollux’s head whipped around and he almost shrieked at the sight. It was Aradia. In the flesh, in front of him, it was Aradia. But something was…different. Sure, it was her, he could tell from the horns and the beautiful face but something was off- well- aside from the blown up hive around them. Wait. The blown up hive. Oh fuck. Everything aligned at once for Sollux. He tried to call out to Aradia but his voice was strangled and he didn’t know whether to scream, cry or apologise. Even if he were to apologise, he didn’t have a fucking clue what to say. But then he realised something, what if she was hurt? It was inevitable, Sollux decided he had to help her.

He barely managed a choked up, “Aradia-“ but she heard him.   
“Little help? I…I kind of don’t want to- to get crushed by this over here.” Aradia pointed a feeble hand towards the towers as she called out breathlessly. Sollux directed her slowly and soon enough, she was leant up against his skinny frame at the centre of the wreckage. 

He definitely knew something was up. From the way her grazed hands and shoulders trembled violently even in his hold to the way she wheezed when she took her slow, careful breaths. It was as if her pain was showing through them. Every so often she would groan and shuffle closer but whenever Sollux went to ask her what was wrong she turned away as if to say that nothing was the matter. 

So, they sat there for a few moments in dead silence. Aradia’s hive was all but blown into pieces as every little part blew away in the wind, there was no way she would be able to rebuild it in time with the entrance of the game deadline inching closer to them. Her home, the memories that came along with it, fluttered away with the breeze. All that was left was them. Two battered bodies using each other for support. 

She found it bittersweet. She was with the boy that she loved but he did this. He ruined her home, he ate the mind honey, he was the one causing this pain. She didn’t want to feel like this but what was left of her soul was seething. She wanted to cry, she wanted to scream, she wanted to throw her arms up and curse at the sky. But. Aradia wanted to apologise. It wasn’t Sollux’s fault. He was being controlled by her. That bitch. She did this. She did this to him. She made him cause this pain. It was her fault.

Vriska will pay.

Aradia was about to get up to finish what the spider-bitch started but her breaths grew shorter. Her brain had been running on pure adrenaline and the supply was growing slim. The stabbing in her side grew and grew and grew until her whole body was aflame. Her limbs grew weaker in Sollux’s hold when she realised that it took every ounce of her energy to even move a finger. 

Ah. I guess this is it, huh. It came s00ner than I expected and like this? That’s a sh0cker. Well I…

She was already closing her eyes and preparing for the big finale when she noticed something. Was that tears? Mr tough guy Captor was crying? Aradia just about mustered a strained chuckle as she gently lay her head in Sollux’s lap. That’s when it was his turn to notice something. There was a tear in Aradia shirt on her right side where dark, dark blood soaked through and underneath, was a gouge where it appeared that some debris had pierced her skin. He gasped as more tears fell from his face and lightly pitter-pattered on Aradia’s cheeks. 

“Aradia- You- That- What happened? Are- Are you okay? Please tell me you’re okay I- I- I don’t think I can handle any more of this, please I need you to be okay. I can’t do this without you.”

A cracked smile spread across her face as she looked up at him. You see, while the Gemini was blubbering and cradling her body, Aradia had already come to terms with what was happening and relaxed into the pain. It would all be over soon. No more pain. No more stress. No more sleepless nights. No more fear. She was numbing by the second, the pain was softening and turning into more of an ache. Having Sollux here with her through this was all that she needed. Aradia was finally at peace. 

She hoped that maybe the afterlife had a place for her where she could finally be herself without fear. There would be no more sadness, it was going to be blissful. It wasn’t even scary like she had thought. Occasionally Aradia would lie awake pondering death in almost an endearing yet fearful way. She wondered what lay over the horizon between a beating heart and a still one and if there was anything waiting for her at all. It made her afraid. But now, now that she was so close to finding out, she wasn’t scared anymore. She was calm. She knew it was going to be a world without pain, suffering and sadness. 

But, Aradia couldn’t help but gaze at Sollux in tears above her and feel his touch so safely and softly on her skin. It was as if he was the one soothing the pain, rocking her to sleep. He felt so nice. So warm. It was so quiet Aradia could almost hear his pounding heartbeat under his sobs while hers started to slow. That’s when she thought: sure, the afterlife will be nice and it will be free of the dark hinderances of living but there was one con.

There would be no him. 

Sollux had been there for her for a very long time. Their relationship had been kind of complicated but they liked it that way, it was messy but safe- it was their normal. When they first met it was like he was a giddy nerd who couldn’t even form sentences around Aradia without sweating profusely and stuttering but as they bonded, he became so much more than that. He was smarter than she could ever comprehend, he was talented and sure, he was kind of grumpy but on those days where she got him alone he opened up so many new doors for her. He bettered her as a person. They ignited each other whenever they spoke. They made each other feel like safety and home. 

Now Aradia could feel tears pooling in her eyes. She was conflicted. Her eyes studied his gorgeous face as she realised- she didn’t want to leave him here. If she passed on, he would be alone. He would go back into his shell, he would shut out the world again. Aradia didn’t want that. 

Sollux’s hands cradled Aradia’s face and he could see the light in her eyes grow dimmer. His heart ached. He felt pathetic and useless. How would he go on like this? How would he go back to Pesterchum and tell the others? Oh yes! I am Sollux Captor and I just murdered the love of my life after greedily devouring the mind honey in my hive like a spoilt pig. All the things in his life seemed to have stacked themselves onto a neat tower and now this was the straw on the camel’s back which made everything collapse and crush him. This was just fucking great. Just what he needed.

Regret, guilt, remorse. They seeped through Sollux’s pores as he tried to find the words to say to the girl in his lap. All he could do was sob and hold her. He didn’t want to let her go. He was afraid that if he did she would already be gone.

“Sollux.” Aradia smiled and reached a hand up to his face. “Sollux I…I want you to listen…to me…please.”

“Yes, of course! Please- Aradia, I’m so sorry. I- I didn’t know what I was doing, I let my guard down, I could have stopped her, I could have stopped this, I could have saved…I could have saved you.” His voice cracked and he tried to stay strong, “Aradia, I’m so sorry. I’m sorry. Please…Please don’t.”

“Sollux, I need you to listen to me, okay?” Aradia looked deep into his eyes, “It’s. Not. Your. Fault. Vriska was controlling you. You are not to blame, okay? I don’t want you to leave here with that burden on your back. So please, don’t cry.”   
She chuckled, “Seeing you sad is making me sad. I don’t want to feel that right now. I want you to be happy. That’s…That’s all that I’ve ever…wanted. So please, please don’t cry Sollux.”

“I’m so sorry… I-“ Sollux brought Aradia’s forehead to his lips and then buried his head into the crease of her neck.   
“Please don’t go. I don’t want you to go. Please. I can’t handle any more of this. Please don’t leave me. Aradia I-“

“Shh, shh, it’s okay. I’m sorry too. I’m afraid that I might not be able to do that. I don’t know if I can stay for much longer. Don’t be scared though, I don’t feel any more pain. It’ll be just like going to sleep for me.” Aradia barely managed a broken smile when she saw Sollux’s face drop, she knew how bad it was going to hurt him but it was just getting too hard to fight. 

“No. Please, Aradia, you can fight it! You’re going to be okay, I’ll get someone to help us I’ll-“

“Oh Sollux, no. I think…maybe…maybe it’s too late. I didn’t want to have to say that but it’s true. I’m afraid there’s no going back for me. This is it.” She softly planted a kiss on his trembling lips.

“It’s time for me to go now, Sollux.” 

Aradia forced one last smile and looked up into Sollux’s eyes. The sound of his begs that echoed the ruins slowly became muffled. Her eyesight as well as her mind grew cloudy- but the nice kind. It felt as if someone wrapped her mind in a blanket and held it tight, safe from the world. She could feel her heartbeat slow like the ticking of a broken clock. Her body was floating, her skin becoming numb to Sollux’s touch. 

And like that, it was over. Aradia was gone. It wasn’t scary, she passed smiling and in the arms of her beloved. It wasn’t scary for her at least, not at all like she thought. She was finally safe. In the place where there was no more pain, no more suffering, no more sadness but there was no more Sollux. She would never get used to that after all. 

However for the one left, it was soul-wrecking. His sobs wracked the wreckage, almost causing the remainder of the structure to be blown apart. Sollux clutched Aradia’s lifeless form and rocked back and forth, his head buried into her chest desperately trying to discover a heartbeat. But there was none to be found. He was alone. He had never felt more helpless. She was gone. The only person he cared about was gone. He would never hear her voice again, or her laugh, or see her smile that made his heart thump right out of his chest. He would never feel her touch again in the dead of night, feel her breath against his skin or her fingers through his hair. 

“Aradia…Aradia please…” Sollux choked, “Aradia please don’t go…I can’t…”

“Aradia I love you.”  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------  
“God look at you, you’re gawking at me again.” Aradia rolled her eyes as he continued to zone out staring at her face, “Sollux!” She giggled.  
“Oh shit, sorry, it’s a habit.” Sollux tried to gather himself up, embarrassed.

“Yeah, yeah, perv.” Aradia joked.

He couldn’t help but stare in amazement. She was so beautiful. No- beautiful wasn’t enough- she was a goddess in his eyes. Every little feature complimented the next and made the bumble bees in his heart buzz with excitement. He’d wait for every single movement, every blink, every giggle, every smirk. He’d watch in awe as she tucked her hair behind her ear. 

It didn’t matter what she was doing, it never did, Sollux was in love with it all. When he was sad he would remember the first time she held his hand, a very slight gesture but it meant more than the whole universe to him. It was like their skin complimented each other when pressed together, a comforting mixture of heat and cool. It made them never want to let go of each other. It was as if being a pair made them stronger, like they could conquer the world. They wished that they would never be apart. They hoped that they would never be apart. They could never had imagined how wrong that would go.

Now there was nothing left but the lonely Gemini boy who pitifully cried, holding onto the dead Aries girl’s body.   
Aradia, the girl who defied all quadrants was gone.


End file.
